The last post......or is it???

Well, this absolutely horrible semester is drawing to a close- FINALLY! This is the last post I have to write for class and I just wanted to use it to take the time out and thank those that actually looked at my site.

The articles that I wrote about relationships (for the majority) have been published in my school's newspaper and I do want to continue writing columns along these lines. I appreciate any feed back on them, tips, or job options.

The last of my advice is simple- just have fun! If you're in your senior year like I am, dealing with the stress of graduating on time, a relationship, family problems, or work is going to catch up to you. Sometimes, you just have to relax and go out for a few drinks and enjoy yourself. Unfortunately, the work will be there tomorrow so why don't you just post-pone the stress of it and have one fun night?

It's nice to just kick back and watch a movie, or go to a club and get all dressed up just so you can pretend that things are normal. They might not be normal now, but they will be. Time will smooth everything out so stressing about it now won't help anyone.

Have a great Senior year- we're finally getting out of here even though it has been a great ride. To those not graduating- enjoy it while you can!

From the bittersingleguy.com

Tips for the Lovelorn, Lovelost, and Loveless (yes, you're in there somewhere) from the B.S.G. Abyss and Beyond.

Remember:

• The first moment of the first kiss of a new relationship is the beginning of the end.
• In sex, in relationships, in love and in life: your brain is not your friend.
• Beware the one who leaves a lover for you. If they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you.
• Don't let the flyswatter that is your fear of intimacy smash the bug that is your love.
• Relationships are like snowboarding: just strap in and crouch down because you will fall and it will hurt.
• Failure to set boundaries does not mean they're not there...you just roll along until you bump up against someone else's.
• Pining away for someone you love from a distance is neither romantic or tragic. It's pathetic. Shit or get off the pot.
• Accept the fact that you and your date will have different expectations. Change your expectations or change your date.

Celebrity Gossip

Cruise Slammed For Sonogram Machine Purchase

Tom Cruise has been slammed for buying a sonogram (ultrasound) machine for his pregnant fiancee Katie Holmes, with health experts warning that he's putting his unborn child at risk.

Officials at the American College of Radiology (Acr) are highly concerned by Cruise's revelation that he purchased the device to track his child's progress, and they're warning him that he could be breaking the law if he's carrying out the scans himself.

Dr Carol M Rumack, of the Acr Ultrasound Commission, says, "This is a patient safety issue. Untrained people, even if they have the financial means, should not buy, or be allowed to buy and operate, ultrasound machines which are, in fact, medical devices and should not be used without a medical indication.

"Images of the foetus are an opportunity to diagnose problems before birth that may require treatment. These images should be obtained by certified technologists under the supervision of physicians properly trained in ultrasound...

"The Acr is concerned that Tom Cruise has been badly advised regarding the use and potential abuse of ultrasound. There are many abnormalities that may be missed by the untrained eye. Also, if it is not medically necessary, the use of ultrasound raises unnecessary physical risk to the foetus."

STAVROS TO DITCH PARIS FOR MARY-KATE!
November 29, 2005

Do the Greek billionaires in Paris Hilton's life come with some kind of expiration date? Her romance with Paris Latsis, 22, lasted nine months. And now, sources tell Star, his handsome replacement, Stavros Niarchos III, is yearning to get back with Mary-Kate Olsen, 19, whom he dumped for Paris. So far, however, Mary-Kate — looking gorgeous after putting several pounds between her and her old pin-thin look — appears to be playing very hard to get. In fact, shipping heir Stavros may have missed the boat.

TEXTING THE EX
"Stavros has been text-messaging MK a lot recently," a source says. "He sends messages like, 'How you doing? Give me a call.' But she's not responding." What's triggering Stavros' renewed interest in his ex? "He's missing the old times with Mary- Kate," the source says. "The sex with Paris is white-hot, but the novelty is wearing off and the constant drama is starting to get to him, not to mention the pressure from his family to dump her."

*information taken off different on-line gossip sites*

Song of the Moment

Frankie J
"More Than Words" Remake

Saying "I love you" is not the words
I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be
To show me how you feel
More than words
Is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me
'Cause I'd already know

What would you do
If my heart was torn in two?
More than words to show you feel

That your love for me is real
What would you say
If I took those words away?
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying "I love you"

Now that I've tried to
Talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is
Close your eyes and just reach out your hands
And touch me
Hold me close, don't ever let me go
More than words
Is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me
'Cause I'd already know

Irrationality versus Sensibility

PMS can just be blamed for so many things.
Sometimes PMS has nothing to do with it.
Sometimes you realize you’re about to have a psychotic episode and PMS is the last thing that’s causing it.
You try and sit there telling yourself to remain calm. Your foot is bouncing to the beat of your heart as it begins to pulse quicker and quicker.
You try and distract yourself by going on the computer or reading a book, but within five minutes you’re on your feet deepening the groove that you have worn into your bedroom floor.
Where is he?
What’s he doing?
More importantly, who’s he with and what’s he doing with them?
Finally, the room begins to go fuzzy, things turn red, you might even break into a sweat and then- the cell phone comes out.
You have to hit redial about 50 times since he’s not picking up the phone.
And the text messages…oh, the text messages.
Curse the day they invented that form of technology.
Finally, when he calls you back you’re about ready to either continue bawling into the phone because you’ve gone over three hours without hearing from him, or you’re going to scream until his ear bleeds so that he understands when you call he better be around to pick up the phone.
He’s on the other line asking you if your mother died, or something equally important because he can’t understand why you were being so persistent in calling him.
He’s also wondering where his fun, cool and beautiful girlfriend went and who the hell this possessed, demonic, completely irrational schizo is.
Ladies- why do we do this to ourselves?
Sure, guys can be sketchy and give us reason to be suspicious. Even sometimes, due to past problems, the reason to accuse your man of doing something comes up when he’s not around.
But why do we let it affect us so much that we hurt the relationship we’re actually trying to save?
This form of being irrational helps and hurts us and the other person in the relationship. In one breath, it’s helping because your feelings are being released. Women are more sensitive and emotional then men and our feelings will bubble out within moments of feeling defensive, used, or hurt.
With the need to express our feelings, however, you need to learn to control the irrational and focus on the sensible.
I know that sometimes you need to just scream and let everything out, especially if you’ve been holding a lot in.
But if the problem is reoccurring then continuously acting like this isn’t helping anyone. Your boyfriends heard this song and dance more times then he cares to and now he’s bored, annoyed, and ready to just give up.
Guys don’t like to talk- it’s just how they are. We can all say that trying to talk to a boyfriend about how they’re feeling is like pulling teeth so why freak out every single day and beg them to talk to us?
It’s time to just realize that one final conversation has to fix the problem or end it.
Before you reach for that cell phone and attempt to leave him voice mail after text message after missed call, take a second and collect your thoughts.
Why are you freaking out? Are you really that suspicious about what he’s doing? Do you really think he could be doing something he’s not telling you about? Are the signs really pointing towards infidelity or is your brain disillusioning you because you want a reason to be mad?
Put the cell phone down and just back away slowly.
In all honesty, if you’ve been with someone for a long time, chances are they’re going to call you eventually. Maybe guys just want a little space when they go away and, even if you don’t like that or you wouldn’t need “space,” you have to accommodate them.
Relationships are about compromise so, ladies, we can’t always get what we want.
If your phone doesn’t ring before you’re about to hit the sheets, then pick up the phone and give him a call but try and remain calm.
Maybe he just got caught up with his friends and lost track of the time. If he apologizes, just let it go and deal with it in the morning. At least you can go to bed with the satisfaction of knowing that if he was doing anything shady, he would never have picked up the phone to say a quick good-night (and he definitely wouldn’t have called you “baby” in front of anyone).
Just take a deep breath and realize that being sensible in some situations will get you further then flying off the handle and letting all your emotions rage out.
Even though it can be hard, you can handle it.

Is it a Break up or just a speed bump

The fighting has become a daily occurrence. You’re constantly questioning if it’s worth it. Even phone calls to his mother are making you suspicious.
Finally, in a blow out fight that causes tears, screaming and possibly slapping him a few times, the words come out of your mouth: “Forget it; I just can’t do this anymore.”
As he walks out the door two things cross your mind- “I can’t believe I said that,” and “I hope in an hour he’s standing outside my window John Cusack style telling me I’m wrong.”
The second let down of the hour (the first being him leaving) comes when you fail to hear “In Your Eyes” coming from an old school boom box in your driveway.
The thing I have the most problems with when it comes to break up’s is when do you know it’s really over?
My last long term relationship was finally over when the drug use stopped, the alcoholism kicked in and the physical violence began.
No one had to convince me to break up with him anymore after that.
He, also, never chased me after I left.
As a hopeless romantic I will always believe in second chances. Maybe, if I really like you, I’ll give you a third but when the need to forgive begins to be an every two week occurrence you have to truly get tired of explaining to your friends why you took him back this time.
Sure, sometimes couples just fight and in a fit of rage walk out of the relationship. But if you come back to fix things a day later your reasons better be understood and for sure.
You miss her, you think about her, and now that she’s gone everything you do reminds you of one time when you two were together.
Here’s where you ask yourself the first “Do I Want This” question, boys- do I miss her because we had some good times, or do I miss the security of her?
If your answer is choice A then what are you waiting for? Go out, buy some flowers and go “Pretty Woman” style up the side of her building to her window and immediately apologize. The sooner you fix the problems, the more believable it is that you genuinely don’t want it to be over.
If your answer is choice B then you’ve already made the right move and eventually she will understand that to stay with someone because it’s “comfortable” is almost as cruel as torturing a cat. You have convinced someone that your feelings are equal when you don’t look at this girl as anything different then you might look at your cousin (second cousin if you’ve already started sleeping with her).
Immediately leave this girl alone and do NOT reappear in her life until you see that she has met the person she’s supposed to be with.
Now, let’s say you have decided that you think you want to fix things because you haven’t seen her smile in 24 hours and the picture on your desk is a constant reminder that you would lose the sexiest woman in the world.
Here’s your second question- when you see that she wants to forgive you but she’s not, how do you feel? Are you hurt because now she seems to feel differently towards you, or are you dedicated to convincing her that you’re He-Man so your ego isn’t bruised?
“Everyone wants what they can’t have” and that goes double for men who enjoy the chase.
If she wants her space to see how she feels in a certain amount of time then give her a little but show her a lot. E-mail her, text message her, sign her myspace wall that you’re constantly thinking and missing her. Call her at night just to say good-night and hang up.
Most importantly, show her you’re not going anywhere.
That doesn’t mean stop your life; it means keep her in it.
Go out with the guys but call her while you’re out and Instant Message her when you get home. She’s thinking you’re not together and this will show her that she can trust you.
Lastly, ask yourself the most important question of all- why are you trying so hard? Do you care about her that much that you want to see where things are going, or have you been with her so long that this possible break- up shows you how much you love her and can’t be without her?
OK, deep breaths.
I know the “L” word is scary and equals the utmost amounts of commitment to be unleashed but if the feeling is there, it’s not going away just because you’re freaked out.
A woman’s feelings develop faster then guys; it’s a known fact that society has just come to except. We see what we want, we get it, learn to live and pick up after it and then fall in love with the ungrateful, pretentious boy that he always will be.
Now it’s your turn, boys, to show and tell her that you appreciate everything about her.
A.K.A- you love her.
If you don’t then there’s no need to lie, but only continue a relationship if you think the potential is there.
If you don’t then what’s the point? You’re just going to wind up hurting her more in the end if you constantly drag out a dead relationship.
We all want to forgive and forget, and heartbreak is one of the most painful experiences to deal with, but sometimes, if it’s not working no sweet gesture or cute away message will create the future you want.
It’s time for you to decide if the “juice is worth the squeeze.” All relationships have their share of fighting and breaking up, and after spending so much time together you’re bed can be one of the coldest places to come home to.
But love is crazy and erratic. It’s possessive and jealous, dominating and passionate, comforting and sympathetic. Love is a walking contradiction and makes you look like a complete schizophrenic. Sometimes you need to run away for a little bit to see who will follow after you. I truly believe that there is no such thing as being “in love” without having the “madly” part to go with it.
If you’re not madly in love with him/her, if you’re not willing to put up with PMS, car trouble, bad moods, family drama, compromising gossip, friends, job changes, school work, or distance, or if you’re not ready to fight about who bought the Diet Coke that was in the fridge, or if your mother likes her then why forgive each other after a fight?
Relationships are hard work; no one ever said they were easy or unbreakable. There will be problems and tribulations and you might hate the sight of the person you thought you cared about for a few hours.
But that’s the time when you need to decide if you never want to see him again, or, even though steam is shooting out of your ears with how pig-headed he’s being, you can’t picture your life without him.
If his face is all you see, and her laugh is all you ever want to hear before you go to sleep at night, then you have your answer.
Make-up as quickly as possible so you two can see that it was all worth it.
Because it IS worth it.

Do you know how hard this is?

You know, you would think that just sitting down and writing about your life, or what's going on during your day, or just about anything that interests you in general would be easy- but it's not. I'm one for talking, my teachers used to send home progress reports with the box marked "Student is talkative at inappropriate times" checked off too many times for my parents to care.
But now it's time for me to sit down and just type about anything I want to and I'm honestly out of ideas.
How many more problems can occur in a relationship for me to write about?
Do you really care what song is going through my head at this moment in time?
Do you even appreciate the hard work I put into this page with it's different colored fonts and bunches of pictures I try to incorporate?
No, probably not as I see that no one really looks at this page besides myself.

So if any of you people out there in cyber space check out this page, feel free to write me up a comment with ideas of what to post about because my mind is becoming very blank (it's almost the end of the semester, I'm sure you understand.)

New movies hitting the silver screen

My personal favorites include:

Chicken Little: November 4th (Voices by Zach Braff, Joan Cusack, Steven Zahn)

This epic tale presents a new twist to the classic fable of a young chicken who causes widespread panic when he mistakes a falling acorn for a piece of the sky. In this hilarious adventure, Chicken Little is determined to restore his reputation -- but just as things are starting to go his way, a real piece of the sky lands on his head! Suspense, chaos, and plenty of laughs ensue, as Chicken Little and his band of misfit friends, Abby Mallard (aka Ugly Duckling), Runt of the Litter and Fish Out of Water, attempt to save the world without sending the town into a whole new panic. This time, when it comes to saving the world, it helps to be a little chicken.

Jar Head: November 4th (Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper)

'Jarhead' (the self-imposed moniker of the Marines) follows "Swoff" (Jake Gyllenhaal), a third-generation enlistee, from a sobering stint in boot camp to active duty, sporting a sniper's rifle and a hundred-pound ruck on his back through Middle Eastern deserts with no cover from intolerable heat or from Iraqi soldiers. Swoff and his fellow Marines sustain themselves with sardonic humanity and wicked comedy on blazing desert fields in a country they don't understand against an enemy they can't see for a cause they don't fully fathom. The film is based on Marine Anthony Swofford's bracing memoir, which took readers into his disorienting firsthand experience in the Gulf War.

Some honorable mentions:

Derailed: November 11 (Jennifer Aniston)

In this suspense thriller, ad exec and family man Charles Schine (Clive Owen) meets a sexy business woman (Jennifer Aniston), on the commuter train to Chicago. Flirtation quickly escalates, but their fling turns dangerous when a violent criminal, LaRoche (Vincent Cassel), blackmails them, promising to reveal their indiscretion and threatening their families if they not pay him. With their lives thrown terrifyingly off course, they must figure out how to turn the tables on LaRoche and save their families.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: November 18th (Daniel Radcliffe)

Directed by Mike Newell, the fourth installment to the Harry Potter series finds Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) wondering why his legendary scar -- the famous result of a death curse gone wrong -- is aching in pain, and perhaps even causing mysterious visions. Before he can think too much about it, however, Harry boards the train to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where he will attend his fourth year of magical education. Shortly after his reunion with his best friends, Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson), Harry is introduced to yet another Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher: the grizzled Mad-Eye Moody (Brendan Gleeson), a former dark wizard catcher who agreed to take on the infamous "DADA" professorship as a personal favor to Headmaster Dumbledore (Michael Gambon). Of course, Harry's wishes for an uneventful school year are almost immediately shattered when he is unexpectedly chosen, along with fellow student Cedric Diggory (Robert Pattinson), as Hogwarts' representative in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, which awards whoever completes three magical tasks the most skillfully with a thousand-galleon purse and the admiration of the international wizard community. As difficult as it is to deal with his schoolwork, friendships, and the tournament at the same time (not to mention his feelings toward the ever unfathomable Professor Snape [Alan Rickman]), Harry doesn't realize that the most feared wizard in the world, Lord Voldemort, is waiting for Harry to clutch the coveted Tri-Wizard trophy, in doing so initiating his return to power. ~ Tracie Cooper, All Movie Guide

Walk the Line: November 18th (Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon)

Before Johnny Cash was the Man in Black, he was just another musician struggling to make something of himself. 'Walk the Line' chronicles the extraordinary rise to fame of a musical legend. Overcoming early hardships such as the accidental death of his brother, Cash (Joaquin Phoenix) stormed Nashville with his innovative blend of rock, folk, blues, gospel and country. But even as his creativity blossomed, his heavy drug use took a toll, leading to a period of destructive behavior and the failure of his first marriage. It was June Carter (Reese Witherspoon), daughter of the first family of country music, who lifted Cash out of his emotional chaos and helped him to become the man and the musician he was meant to be. Powered by brilliant performances from Phoenix and Witherspoon, 'Walk the Line' is a success story, a musical celebration, a redemptive tale -- and ultimately, a love story for the ages.


*all synopsis were obtained from moviefone.com*

A trip down memory lane...

Senior summer and senior year.....

These are the memories that keep me going...

Nic, Jewels and me during our fabulous week long vacation down at Myrtle Beach....good times seeing our friend Ashley and we enjoyed the Biker Week theme even though most of the guys were really scary and it was just dangerous for us to walk around in skirts!



Now Senior year has begun, and with the starting of the semester also came my 21st birthday. I couldn't think of a better present then having my best friend Eric come spend the weekend with me to help me celebrate...that meant the world to me....and also having someone to carry me home when I got a little too excited about finally being able to go out with a fake id. Being 21 doesn't feel any different from being 20 but just having my closest friends around and realizing how long I've known these people, made me realize I'm getting older but I'm taking the best part of my youth with me.
I love you Eric!


And where would I be this year without my fabulous roommate? Even though it seemed almost impossible to be able to get her off-campus, we somehow pulled it off and then, to top it off, got the sickest, sweetest apartment for two that is probably offered for students (have I mentioned before that besides this apartment coming fully furnished with heat and water included, but we have a 32inch TV with surround sound speakers and PIP in our living room AND we have our own washer and dryer that we don't have to pay for???).
Becky has to be the sweetest, most easy going person I've ever met and even though she's only 19, you would never guess. She's as mature as any adult I've ever met and is the easiest person to get along with- she also has a boyfriend I even get along great with so what better person to spend a few years living and laughing with?



And Joe...there's always gotta be something for Joe in here....It's been about a year since we've met and what an interesting year it's been.
I don't think a relationship can be good without a little controversey and, to be honest, we've had enough to last us through a few years already.
But besides all that, I think the saying is true that in the end you just want to be with the person that can make you laugh. No matter what it seems like we keep coming back to each other and I couldn't imagine what I would be doing with myself this year if I didn't have him in my life (probably my HW but that's besides the point).
Besides being absolutely adorable together, he's the first guy I feel isn't just my boyfriend but one of my best friends....
It just makes me glad that it seems like things can only get better.

Shocked

On campus I have come to hear the coined phrase, "Sex Toy Party." I have never actually been to one, but I was more than shocked to hear more and more girls talking about throwing one as times gone on.
Naturally, I am now curious about being involved.
Since I don't know how people plan these things, I decided to do some research online to see how to sign up for one and what actually goes on at these parties.
While I was searching, one website even brought me to Oprah's "O" Magazine, saying that the website for Passion Parties is a great place to plan one of these parties to enhance your sex life.
Now that I have Oprah's seal of approval, I'm definitely checking this out.
Besides have an online shopping catologue full of vibrators (cheap in price with full out description of what they can do for you), massage oil, aroma therapies, books on anything you could possibly want to read about sex, toys solely for him, it also has a site where you can book your own party!
Someone can come to your designated location and show you how to use everything and you can buy the products during the demonstration. It's not even all about sex, it's also about learning how to have a stronger relationship with your partner- but I don't know how much I would be focusing on talking with all these gadgets that I don't even know what to do with around me.

You can check out these sites that I've found if you want to see and be shocked as I was when I first checked them out- Passion Parties, Forbidden Parties, or It's a Party

Some good blonde jokes...

*And no one can get mad at me putting this up because, after all, I'm a blonde and I'm not offended- I think it's funny*

Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?"
The nympho says, "Are you done already?"
The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.The blonde started laughing.This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.This time the blonde laughed even harder.Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening."I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."

Song of the Moment...

"Addicted"

Kelly Clarkson

It's like your a drug
It's like your a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all powers like
The only company I seek is misery all around

It's like your a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You're taking over me

It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

I'm hooked on you I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle then quit it
Just one more time then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you...

Top 10 Reasons...

I found this online and got a kick out of it- hope it makes you laugh too!

Top 10 Reasons to Go to Work Naked....

1. No one ever steals your chair.
2. You want to see if it's like the dream.
3. It diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
4. With some upbeat lift music, you can add `Exotic Dancer? to your exaggerated resume.
5. You can finally stop those pigs in marketing from looking down your top.
6. You can say, `I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my trousers?.
7. You give `bad hair day? a whole new meaning.
8. It's an inventive way to finally meet that fit bloke in human resources.
9. You can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
10. Your boss is always shouting, `I want to see your a*se in here by 9?

Quotes of the moment...

** Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time**

** Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war love is growing up**

**There is fate, but it only takes you so far because once you're there, its up to you to make it happen**

**In the end I want to be standing at the beginning with you**

** Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. **

** You gotta hurt in order to know. Fall in order to grow. Lose in order to gain. Because most of life's lessons are learned in pain **

**Whoever said happiness came with sunshine has never danced in the rain. **

** I like you not only because of who you are but also because of who I am when I'm with you **

** Never settle for the one you can live with. Settle for the one you can't live without.**

** I've learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures never replace having been there, memories good or bad will bring tears; and words can never replace feelings.**

** Life isn't measured in how many breathes we take, but by how many moments take our breaths away **

Meeting the In-Laws

After you've been dating someone for a good amount of time in college the subject of meeting the parents gets brought up. You never thought you'd hear a scarier phrase.
But why is it so scary? Are we really all so worried that our significant others parents will look at us and thing, "so you're the one sleeping in my daughters bed every night?"
Our parents may not be stupid, but they're also not going to judge someone before they meet him/her.
Meeting the parents can add some serious stress to a relationship. You obviously want, more than anything, for his/her mother to like you. Parents have a big influence on the way that your boyfriend can think about the relationship. If another obstacle is going to form because his mother decided that you're too much of a flake and doesn't see the connection between the two of you, her voice will be in his head until he finally is driven to the breaking point.
So now you want to try and do anything to make her want you in the family.
The only thing you really should remember to do, however, is just act naturally. If you're trying to hard, they are both going to know. You won't be acting like yourself and that's the person your boyfriend has talked so much about. If you're good in school, do well in sports, or have an interesting (and approriate) career, tell them about it. Get them to see the person that has a sensible head on her shoulders, can make jokes and laugh and doesn't seem to be nervous at all.
Make them see why their child has deemed you worthy enough to date.
Some parents can be the future in-laws from hell with tons of annoying little questions that seem like they're searching for a way to make you say something so that they have a reason not to like you but all you should do is smile and get through it. These are your boy/girlfriends parents you're dealing with- not one of their annoying friends that you could possibly hit if they got out of line.
These are the people that will always be in their life and have the biggest influence so even if they're annoying just roll with it- it will make it easier to deal with in the end and hey- if you get to meet them once, you'll never have to do the first impression thing ever again.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween- a day to pretend your a doctor, a nurse, a witch or something that you just threw together two seconds before you walked out of the door. It's a holiday to simply pretend your someone your not- almost, try on a new skin to see how it feels.
My friends to the left tried out the army look and showed off how those foxy mama's in the 1920's did it up as they partied into the hellish hours of the evening.
I on the other hand realized something- being a Playboy Bunny one night and a Hooters girl the other showed me how glad I was that I have so much more respect for myself then to walk around like that normally.

Some gave the nun look a little sexier approach (she will be presenting it to the Pope on Tuesday), brought back the Pebbles outfit, reminded us that Pink Ladies shouldn't be messed with, and attempted to show us that law enforcers know how to use their handcuffs.
Whether it was just for fun or truly attempting to scare someone, this halloween brought out more laughs and crazy times then can be listed.
It seems to have woken up this campus that never seems to have any fun anymore- the bars were packed, gouls and goblins and the Channel 9 news team creeped and crawled all over the streets of Cortland chosing trick and drink as their slogan for the night instead of worrying about finding some candy.
Here are some photos of everyone enjoying the idea of being someone else....

Song of the Moment...

"True"

I wont talk

I wont breathe

I wont move till you finally see

That you belong with me

You might think I dont look

But deep inside in the corner of my mind

I'm attached to you

I'm weak

It's true

Cuz I'm afraid to know the answer

Do you want me too?

Cuz my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life to cross this line

To the only thing thats true

So I will not hide

Its time to try

Anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

You dont know what you do

Everytime you walk into the room I'm afraid to move

I'm weak

Its true

Im just scared to know the ending

Do you see me too?

Do you even know u met me?

I've waited all my life to cross this line

To the only thing thats true

So I will not hide

Its time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

I know when I go ill be on my way to you

The way thats true

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

One thing you hate more than fighting with that person you care about the most is actually breaking up with him/her. It seems that guys get off this situation easier then girls. They might mourn over the thought of not having their favorite female presence around anymore, but noramlly, they are the ones that bounce back quicker.
Girls on the other hand go either way, there never seems to be a middle mourning ground. She can either walk away from the relationship with a few battle rooms, yet ready to face the world alone, or she can completley crumble into her bed, tears streaming down her face every ten minutes with a gallon of Edy's Ice Cream and Sex In the City playing.
It can be a very pitiful and desperate site.
Breaking up leaves you not only questioning what went wrong, if you could have changed anything, or if there's something wrong with you. Why did this happen? Was it all the bickering? Did you hurt his pride when you talked with his friend? Were you too jealous? Why were you just so easy to be cast aside?
Sometimes the thought of just being dismissed is worse then actually not waking up with that person next to you.
There's no advice that can be given in a situation like this that you haven't already heard 9,000 times before. "It'll get easier over time," "if it's mean to be it will be," "just take some space and see what happens in a week." But when you're trying to remember all this cute little semi-inspirational quotes that everyone puts up as their away message, you realize your too busy waking up in the middle of the night and seeing that he's off somewhere else instead of resting soundly next to you.
It's all just one big heartbreaking mess, but this is part of life. The most inspirational thingthat really be said is that life doesn't stop because you want it to, it moves on and it might move on without you if you continue dwelling on the past. If you break up with your significant other, the devastation can be just as tragic to your grades and your social life then it can be to your mental health.
It's hard not to let something like this affect the things that are going on in your life but sometimes you have to realize what are your true priorities. If you have a test, a paper due, or a project to work on then it's time to dive into your work the way you would have dived into your relationship.
It's time to put yourself first and realize that there are a whole slue of men/women out there that might be able to appreciate you more than the heartbreaker did. And even though he/she is still doing a tap dance on your heart that you feel like you can't move on, go out in a good outfit, meet other people, see all that's out there that you were missing and realize that you can do this.
Sure, it might be hard to wake up in the morning or go to sleep at night when your minds wondering, no one is expecting you to forget all your vacations, long talks and memories that haunt your mind, but the sooner you realize that it's time to make yourself happy, the sooner you can put those memories into a little box in the back of your memory warehouse and only refer to them when you're ready to.

Saw II- absolutely amazing

If you're a horror movie fan and you went to see the psychological thriller "Saw" like I did last year, you might have had the same reaction- completely freaked out that someone could try to "helpfully" torture another human being into appreciating their life which left you completely unable to sit in your room by yourself and drove you to hurriedly dress and go down to the bars to try and make yourself forget.
Now, the sequel came out and I'm happy to say it was just as twisted and frightening as the first.
Some say it was too bloody, others say they liked the first one better, I say they were both equally amazing. Sure, the laws of horror movie sequels state that they have to have a higher body count and be a little more gruesome, but this didn't derail the moving from it's initial moral message.
In this movie, you meet the man behind the tricycling clown face as Donnie Wahlberg (a surprise lead after a hiatus on the screen) busts out a heart wrenching performance of a man torn up inside, desperate to find his only son that was kidnapped by this kook and make ammends for the way he's treated others.
Everyone can see a certain plot twist occurying at the end of the movie when it's revealed that someone from the previous movie has mysteriously been kidnapped again. You wonder what she could have done to force the Jigsaw's hand into pushing her back to this point again.
Then you hear the movie slogan, "Oh yes, there will be blood" and the torture begins within minutes.
A fabulous plot along with an even better ending left movie goers discussing the craziness of this movie well after the credits began to roll.
I highly recommend seeing this flick not only because it's Halloween, but also if you want to remind yourself that you should always try and be a good, wholesome person because...you never know who might be watching.

Favorite movie quotes...

"I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. " -Nicholas Cage "City of Angels"

"I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-Billy Crystal, "When Harry Met Sally"

"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way." -Jessica Rabbit (Kathleen Turner) "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
-Matthew Broderick "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

** Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time**

I may not be an expert...

I've written a lot of relationship blogs and I just want to dispell the thought that I'm some sort of expert on this field- I'm not, I've just seen a lot in the time that I've been dating. It's always fun to read someone else's opinion on relationships and love, or to just watch something like Sex and the City and see something you've experienced yourself. It makes you feel like you're not alone in what you're dealing with.
A lot of my reasoning comes from past relationships as well as the current relationship I'm in right now. My boyfriend now is one of my best friends and biggest companions. We have been through a lot together which is why I say that college is the ultimate test to any relationship. We've dealt with rumors, the battle of trust and being trustworthy, as well as having to deal with both of us being friends with people of the opposite sex. It's a very trying situation to deal with someone being in a fraternity or sports team, in which my boyfriend is part of both, and I was once part of a sports team as well.
But the one thing I've learned, compared to my past horrible relationships, is that open communication has always led him and me back to each other. It all hangs on the fact of believing the words coming out of each others mouths and basing your feelings solely on the thought that you're with someone who holds your heart and would never want to intentionally break it.
So, no, I'm not an expert and you don't have to listen to a word I write about trusting someone, or remembering important dates or cooling off the PDA. But these are things that I've been through and wish someone would have written down for me. I'm just trying to make a little cheat-sheet for all those attempting the college relationship and hoping it makes it easier for them.
As of right now for me, things are going good as long as I keep listening to my own advice so I think I'm saying something right.

Out of the Old and into the New

College- it’s that exotic, exciting, alcohol consuming, class skipping, party paradise you spent most of your high school career fantasizing about. Your bags are packed two weeks before you’re set to leave, you’ve acquired all your friends e-mail addresses and screen names, and you’re ready to have that good-bye dinner with your significant other.
And for someone reason, he/she is the hardest person to say good-bye to. The water works begin, you can’t stop hugging each other, and the moment you’re in the car traveling to that magical place you’ve been dreaming about sans parents, you two are on the phone saying how much you miss each other.
Time warp to about a month later and normal long distance couples are usually the ones you’ll see standing in the hallway or rec room, with the girl usually crying her eyes out and shrieking about the possibility of a break up.
Usually, they don’t last very long.
Even the most hopeless romantic has to admit that the possibility of a long-term, long distance relationship is slim to none. It’s hard to be without someone for long periods of time while establishing a new life for yourself. The distance between you becomes greater than a few thousand miles.
The next step is the break-up. Once that’s over and done with, a new world is ahead of you. You’re living on your own with no parents to answer to and now you’re single. The idea of playing it safe is still in the back of your head just because your mother did such a fabulous job instilling her moral values there, but you decide you would love to have a relationship with someone the next dorm over.
This is where the reality of being on your own for the first time settles in. When you do actually meet someone who’s as interested in you as you are in him the easy access of it all becomes so apparent that emotions are swept up in a whirl-wind of sleep-over’s and party hopping.
When you were home you could have dated someone all four years of high school and you probably only snuck out of the house a few times so the two of you could have a night together.Now the responsibility has fallen completely on your own shoulders and it’s finally up to you to make some healthy decisions.
Thus, you have now reached the second level of the dating-relationship-roller coaster that you will spend you’re entire life trying to figure out- you have now become so much more invested in this newfound “companion” then you ever would have in another relationship.
So which is better? Long-distance love or up-close and personal connections? Either way, they are both very touch and go. When dealing with long distance you have to trust someone completely and constantly prove to them that you’re trustworthy. Of course in any relationship you have to prove trust, but when he/she lives only a block over it’s easier to do that with someone when you can constantly see what they’re doing, or know the people they are hanging around with.
Coming to college is like starting a new chapter of your life. Whether you want to admit it or not, college changes a person. High school is a structured foundation to help prepare you for being out on your own. Even though some might say they never want to go back to high school, it really was the stepping stone to give you the basic discipline to get you through classes you couldn’t stand, fine-tune the art of skipping, and figure out who are friends, acquaintances and potential love interests.
Lindsay Mermell, 18, freshman, attempted to “do the distance.” Her reasoning was simple: “Because I actually thought it would work,” she said after only two months of being four hours away from her boyfriend. “I was so head over heels that I saw some kind of a future together.”
So what changed? “He became very possessive, and much more paranoid; If I went to a party I was expected to call him every fifteen minutes.”
Not to send the wrong idea, there was never any reason in the past for either one of them not to trust each other. The simple fact became that her boyfriend was driven to insanity because he felt there were things going on in her life now that excluded him. Things came down to the decision of either to try and stay together and possibly continue fighting, or break-up and try to salvage some sort of relationship in the future.
“It’s going to be very hard to stay friends,” she said. “He was such a huge part of my life and I changed so much because of him in a good way but I feel I didn’t have the same impact on him so I don’t want to see how he turned out afterwards. I think eventually I’ll be able way down the road I’ll be able to be friends.”
Hence, here’s what awaits the newly single freshman: House parties, no parents, bars open until 2a.m., no parents, co-ed dorms, the choice to go to school, and no parents. This is almost like being a kid locked in Toys R Us over-night with free access to everything they ever dreamed about- and how often did we dream about riding those two bikes and big wheels around the aisles of the store with no one telling us to get off?
Dating in college seems to be a passing fad. It starts off with the chance meeting, maybe a few casual dinners at the dining hall, and constant away message checking on Instant Messenger and constant IM chats.
Eventually, you get to the “movie.” This is when you’ve finally decided it’s time for said prospect to come over to your room and “watch a movie.” Movies relieve the pressure to talk, but allow the possibility of conversation if it arises.
It also leaves the window open for possible hand holding, cuddling or making-out without the thought of someone walking in on you.
After the “movie” date is over and you’re both coming back for me, this is where the relationship starts to bloom and things start getting complicated.
You soon develop this “move-in” complex. He/she is constantly sleeping over; their clothes start to accumulate so much they eventually get their own drawer in your closet.
You start seeing their little personality traits around your room or apartment, as well as their favorite cereal box in your cabinet, and eventually, the toothbrush settles itself next to yours.
And all of this just happened within a month’s time.
Most grown up relationships don’t even move this quickly. When adults in the “real world” begin dating, there may be the occasional over-nighter, but due to schedules for work or their other responsibilities, the idea of moving their personal belongings into your apartment isn’t a thought until things actually become serious.
College students do this at a whim. We take for granted that innocent relationship we used to have as something that only “children” do. But what’s wrong with the innocent, slow, getting-to-know-you process? We look at college as the chance to grow up and for some reason everyone’s racing for the finish line before the graduation date is even settled.
These relationships we’re discovering should be taken one step at a time. This is the only true way we will ever know if they can stand the test of time, and distance. Lauren Ranieri, 22, a graduate of SUNY Cortland now student teaching in the area, met her boyfriend, Roger, two years ago while they both lived in Clark Hall.
Even though neither was looking for a relationship at the time of their meeting due to plans of studying abroad, the instant sparks between them were undeniable and they agreed to see how things worked out step-by-step.
Two years later, Ranieri still says they’re going strong. “I can't say that we have reoccurring problems that last a long time,” she said. “There are times when either one of us will get jealous, myself more than he, but those disputes are quickly resolved when we reach out to the other person and reaffirm our feelings.”
The real triumph for this relationship, and why it is a prime example of two people trying to make it work, is that both parties studied abroad during two different semesters. Instead of a few miles separating the two of them, the Atlantic Ocean floated between them, allowing them only holidays and summer vacation to catch up on the time they had lost.
“Our homes are three hours apart too,” she said. “But I believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder... in moderation. Distance will make or break a relationship, but if it is meant to be, it will be. Distance made me appreciate what I had even more. When it came time to see him for the first time in four months, I was so excited, nervous, and anxious to see how it would go. It makes things that much sweeter when we are both at school living near each other.”
That brings us to the college portion of the relationship test. When the couple has managed to occupy the same area, choices are made on how much time they spend together. In any budding relationship you want to be able to see that person as much as possible without smothering him/her.
But does this get you far too attached too quickly. “I think sleeping over in moderation is beneficial to the relationship,” Ranieri said. “It is one of the greatest feelings to lay down and be held by your sweetheart. Life tends to get so busy that there may not be downtime until bedtime. It's like saying, ‘there's no place I'd rather be right now, no one I'd rather come home to’.”
Everything just has to be balanced. As special as these intimate moments during bedtime can be, there needs to be boundaries. “We will make sure that sleeping over each other's house is not an every night thing because it will lose its special-ness,” she said.
So when do you decide to take the plunge from high school heartbreak to adult-styled dating, just remember: a long distance relationship might not have worked straight from high school, but in some cases, it’s not hopeless. And relationships in college tend to be more on the level you’re aiming for but aren’t flawless either. Sometimes they might take even more work to keep them going.
But when you think something’s worth it, it’s definitely worth the effort.

Song of the moment...

"Back To You"

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late

Over you
I'm never over
Over you
there's something about you
It's just the way you move
the way you move me

Yea, I'm so good at forgetting
and I quit every game I play
but forgive me love
I can't turn and walk away

Back to you
it always comes around
Back to you
I walk with your shadow
I'm sleeping in my bed
with your silhouette

Should have smiled in that picture
If it's the last that I'll see of you
It's the least that you could not do
Leave the light on
I'll never give up on you
leave the light on
for me too

Back to me
I know that it comes
back to me
Doesn't it scare you
Your will is not as strong
As it used to be

Big and Little!

In short, the most amazing weekend I've had since my birthday just passed. One of my best friends a.k.a my little sister came up for the weekend. She just started going to SUNY Potsdam, and having been a freshman already, I know what it's like to be in a "scary" new place- you need to have a place to escape to with friends that will comfort you and remind you that things are still normal even if you're new home isn't.
Having this weekend to escape our problems we decided that staying in on a rainy Friday and "getting fat" (meaning eating every bit of junk food in my fridge and cabinets) and watching TV was the best way to vent and forget about things for a little while.
On Saturday the rain let up and allowed us to leave it as an open rec day. We tried the bowling thing- surprisingly we were all pretty decent, and then play Scene It, the DVD board game that tests your movie knowledge, or lack there of. Afterwards, it was time to get decked out and socialize. The hats were rockin as were the parties and bars we hit up. It just made me happy to have that little bit of security knowing that one of my favorite girls was having fun and enjoying the fact that high school is done and it's time to start growing up in the new chapter of her life.
Next up is going to visit her at her school- the four hour drive isn't too appealing but knowing she's waiting on the other side to show me how many friends she's made and that she's enjoying herself with her new cheerleading squad and friends (guys and girls!) makes me look forward to it.
I love my lil so much and I hope she knows that college will make her even more beautiful then she already is.

Important Dates to Remember

Days aren't all just numbers on a calendar. Some of those numerals are actually moments frozen in time that will either leave you breathless, or knock the wind out of you and leave you fuming.
Valentine's Day is commercialized- but so what?
Christmas is stressful with buying the right present for the right person, and dealing with returns of your own.
Whatever she did for your birthday, you have to out do for her's.
And as for anniversaries- do guys really remember the date without the constant "subtle" reminders?
I'll let you in on the secret- these are the only four holidays you really need to remember, and all the rest should just be honorably mentioned.
Valentine's Day is a holiday to honor of the elusive St. Valentine. He was martyred for attempting to bring justice against unfair rulers, which doesn't really send the heart-filled, chocolate covered strawberry message. Supposedly, Valentine fell in love with a young girl and allegedly wrote her a letters from prison, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. The Christian church had said that mid-February was seen as a "pure" time due to the beginning of spring coming and after many different traditions passed, in the 17th centuary people began handing out tokens of affection to friends and family, thus beginning the idea that flowers, chocolates and presents to express one's love are required on this 'special' day.
And let me tell you boys- girls eat this up as quickly as they scoff down the heart shaped chocolate. What better way to tell and show someone how much you care about them then to have one specific day of the year designed just for that? Because girls believe this is the time to let your feelings shine through- do NOT ignore this or it will be seen as a lack of caring. Even if you do the stereotypical things like dinner by candlelight or a nice box of chocolates at least you're doing something to show that you remembered the holiday, and remembered that it mattered to her.
Helpful hint #1: If you've been together for a while and you do genuinely care for her, the flower petals on the bed, sweet smelling candles, romantic music and a beautifully written card will say everything you need to.
Christmas is another time of year that you need to remember. Even though money always seems to be tight around this time since you're buying for family as well, she's been planning this for months and needs to know that the same amount of thought is going into this. Because we're in college and Christmas time is one of the few times we can go home to family, a surprise knock on the door is worth more than an expensive bracelet.
Helpful hint #2: If you have the option to be together for this holiday, take it. The effort you put into seeing each other means more than anything you could ever buy. But if you really can afford buying her that beautiful set of earrings she saw in the window of Zales, take the hint and go for it.
Birthdays are that one day a year that is just yours. No one else can celebrate on the same day as you unless, ironically, they were born that day too. This is the time to make her feel special for just being her.
And when it comes to anniversaries- this is make or break point of a relationship. Birthdays are important because of it solely being about the other person, and for that, you better remember the date, but an anniversary is about the two of you becoming one unit. If you don't remember that day, you might as well not even remember that you're dating someone. Whereas a birthday is something special for that person, an anniversary is something special the two of you can do together where the whole world is excluded.
Helpful hint #3: Run away together for a night or a weekend. Even if you're too busy to celebrate the day of your actual anniversary- take the time to get away together and realize why you're together. Just being together is so much more beneifical.

Song of the moment...

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

PDA can be a turn off

You like the security of holding his hand and all the pictures you two constandly take reminds you of how good the two of you look together.
If Brad and Jen were still together there would definitely be fierce competition for the cover of US Weekly.
It makes your day hearing people tell you how cute the two of you look together, but what you really should be concerned about is why do you care so much about what other people think?
Wouldn't it be more fun to hug and kiss your boyfriend because you just can't stop touching him?
The next problem comes with the guy. Your concern may be one thing, but most guys that haven't gotten a few beers in him opt for the quick peck and quickly turn their head. Why are guys so afraid of public displays of affection (better known as PDA)?
The bad boys are worried because they don't want their other girlfriend hearing about it, but the semi-decent guy might just be uncomfortable with being "mushy" in punlic surroundings.
It makes him uncomfortable when you confront him about his feelings so by him acting like that, why would it even be possible for him to publicly make out with you? And if his guy friends are around you're even worse off because his reputation will always come ahead of you.
It's a sad truth, but constantly being ragged on by his friends or dealing with your dirty looks when he shrugs away from a kiss is a chance he's willing to take. The trick is to simply go with it. I know it's hard to not touch him when he's all dressed up on Thursday night, but it's worth the reward. No guy, whether he's your boyfriend or a possibility wants a girl who has to be attaced to his hip at all times.
Guys find girls attractive who understand that happy medium concept. You came out with your girls to have a great night, not to ditch them the moment you spot him and safe guard him for the rest of the night. Let him come to you. If he's with his friends, enjoy the fact that you can both co-exist at the same place. Enjoy the fact that your groups might join up soon, and love it when your man's friends enjoy your company.
Your man's protective bells will go off in his head and soon his arms will be all over you to show his friends that the girl making all of them laugh is with him.
Jealous can be your best friend sometimes if you know how to play that card. Just always remember that PDA can be just gross. You've probably seen that drunken couple pressed up against a wall making out and it just completely turns you off- so don't be a hypocrit. If you want your man to touch you and make you feel wanted, put a little distance between the two of you and he'll find his way over.
And if he still doesn't receipricate those public feelings, maybe he really just doesn't like touch-feely moments- it doesn't necessarily mean it's you or his feelings for you aren't the same, some guys just don't like holding hands and kissing all the time. This is when it's time to open your mouth so that you stay on the same page.
Things will work out- you just have to deal with the situation as best, and as calm, as possible.

When is a kiss not a requirememnt

You did the dinner and a movie thing. He held the door open every time, kept the conversation steady and entertaining and even already asked you ifyou wanted to go watch some band you've never heard of the next night.
Overall, it was a perfect evening.
But even with the right chemistry and balance throughout the night, the awkwardness of the walk to the front door still lingers heavy in the air. The two of you stare into each other's eyes and wonder if a kiss goodnight is expected. And if you opt to be respectful and save the first kiss for a better time, are you sending mixed messages or telling her to make the first move?
When is a first kiss supposed to be a first kiss?
First kisses seem to say how a relationship will work out. If there's too much tongue involved, if the persons mouth tastes like prunes, or if the drool surrounding your lips is overwhelming, you now have two clear choices: a) teach this dog some new tricks, or b) keep on looking for a keeper.
It seems the fear of what the kiss would be like is why kissing on the first date has become the stereotypical motion. Who invented the "kiss" rule after the first date? Why should it be required?
In reality, it just puts more pressure on the date being perfect. Waiting for a first kiss to be natural instead of required seems to be worth it. Why stand there wondering if a kiss on the lips is right, when a second date invitation could lead to a brighter future.
Since this rule isn't written in stone, it's OK to opt for a quick peck on the cheek to see how date #2 turns out. The longer you wait for that moment, the better the kiss could possibly be. It could set your soul on fire with the amount of restrained passion and make the possibility of a fourth or fifth date that much more appetizing.

Just to see you smile

Relationships in college are tricky. There are a lot of factors that go into making one work that many don't step back and realize.
They are hard enough to work through when there are differences between the two said people, but when thousands of other temptations are involved, the pressure grows.
In college, unfortunately, the saying, "alcohol is the cause and solution to all of life's problems" becomes the truest statement ever spoken by a cartoon character.
Your judgement gets cloudy, your vision is completely impaired and the feelings of your partner are pushed so far out of your head that when you finally wake up and realize what you did there's no turning back.
This is why college relationships are looked at as either a myth, a fantasy, or just plain too much hard work.
But let's pretend for a secon that you have decided to try the hurdle of having one. The first thing that hsould be established is that thinking about the future isn't going to get you anywhere. If you're too busy planning for Christmas break away from each other, if the distance will kill you, or if they're planning on partying it up during Spring Break without you, then you're neglecting a huge part of your relationship- the present.
What about what he's planning on doing on Saturday? Or how about the "pizza party" you have Thursday night? College students in relationship seem to neglect the little things. Why are we rushing towards a future when we haven't even dealt with the present? There is a possibility for college relatinships, though. Trust, maturity and open communication are key to making it work.
Of course you're going to slip and stumble, things will get rough and trust may be put to the test, but if there is slightly a chance of making it work, those hopeless romantics out there will agree that it's worth the effort. Take care of each other day by day. If you know a movie comes out on DVD that she wants, go pick it up for her and spend a quiet night in together. If watching the football game down at the bar with his boys is important to him, just let him go and tell him to give you a ring when it's over (and guys-make that phone call or you're setting yourself up for an argument).
The important things in a relationship are those happy butterflies in both of your stomachs that cause those cute, dopey smiles on your face. The smiles are what get you through every single day and the more smiles, and laughs, and hugs that you share with each other, the harder it will be to think that the relationship is doomed if either one of you mess up.
Just remember, it's the little things that add up in the end. They get you from place to place and there shouldn't be a rush to get to a future that is still debatable. Enjoy each day and night for what they are- the budding possibility of a prosperous relationship.
Listen to music, watch tons of movies, go out together, and hang out with each other's friends. There's nothing like a relationship in which you're not only boyfriend-girlfriend, but best friends as well; friends able to go out and hang out, and not cause any drama. So just live for the smiles, and have fun thinking of new ways to get to your inevitable future.

Song of the moment...

It's an oldie but goodie- I heard it down at the bar I work at and it's been in my head all day...hopefully, you'll remember it with a smile....

"All For You"- Sister Hazel

Finally I figured out,
But it took a long long time
Now there's a turnabout,
Maybe cause I'm tryin'
There's been times, I'm so confused
Down my road, will it lead to you?
Just can't turn and walk away

It's hard to say what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always be with you
Words can't say it, I can't do
Enough to prove, it's all for you

And I'd thought I seen it all,
Cause it's been a long long time
Oh bothered that we'll trip and fall,
Wonderin' if I'm alive
There's been times, I'm so confused
Down my road, will it lead to you?
I just can't turn, you walk away

Its hard to say what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always be with you
Words can't say, and I can't do
Enough to prove it's all for you

Rain comes pourin' down,
Fallin' from blue skies
Words give out a sound,
comin' from your eyes

Finally I figured out,
But it took a long long time
Oh now there's a turnabout,
Maybe cause I'm tryin'
There's been times, I'm so confused
Down my road, will it lead to you?
Just can't turn, you walk away...

Fighting is Half The Battle

You hate it how he walks around your house in his boxers in front of your roommate.
You hate that he seems to have to be nudged to introduce you to his female friends (and then he only introduces you by name, not as his girlfriend).
He leaves your room cluttered with his stuff, he eats all your food and doesn’t offer to replace it, he has a best “girl” friend that drives you crazy to no end, and he never expresses how he feels.
Shall I go on, or do these teeth-clenching annoyances ring a bell?
Sometimes everything he does wrong seems to out weigh everything (if anything) he does right, and your girlfriends are starting to hate how all you do is complain about him.
So why are you still with him?
Why bother with someone who enjoys coming home from work or class to hang out with his friends instead of calling you and seeing what you’re doing?
It’s really an easy answer- because the logical part of your brain understands that no one is perfect, least of all your boyfriend.
Your brain is trying to tell you that even though he’s not falling at your feet whenever he has some free time, it’s just because he doesn’t have to.
Now, take a deep breath and let that process.
Even though all girls should be treated like a “princess,” I think we don’t have many royal families left in the world for a reason. It becomes too high maintenance, a pedestal is set too high to even try to achieve.
It’s hard to watch romance movies and see guys sweeping girls off their feet, showering them with romantic notions when they screw up.
But, in reality, guys are more hesitant to even face an angry girlfriend then buy her gifts. The smart ones realize that they need to do something, and quick, while the not so smart ones tend to shy away until she comes to him.
The thing you have to realize, boys, is that girls are just as stubborn as you are. We don’t want to be the first to call, especially when we didn’t do anything wrong.
It comes down to the fact that women are more emotional then men and take things more personally. If the fighting is caused by a little tiff or a huge controversy, the person who caused it needs to please stand up.
If she took offense to your comment about her boobs being too small, apologize and explain you didn’t mean it in a bad way. Kiss her, and make her feel better.
If she took offense to your comment that her friend was being completely rude to you the other night, take a serious tone and explain to her that you just want her to know that you were hurt by her friend’s actions and you would appreciate it if she would talk to her so it didn’t happen again.
It’s actually really easy, guys- open your mouth and speak to us in a calm, rational manner and state your point as clear as possible.
I bet you that as long as you weren’t yelling or acting in a condescending manner, girls would be more obliged to listen and hear what you were arguing with them about, thus avoiding the possibility of a blow out fight because she took it as you “insulting” her girlfriend.
Sure, girls go a little psycho every now and then and tend to take comments way too seriously. Take things easy, especially when you know she’s having a hard day or if it is, in fact, that time of the month and she’s even more sensitive then normal.
This doesn’t mean ignore us just because you don’t think you will ever say the right things, this means actually hone in to your feminine side and listen, respond, and share your own problems.
I know this might be a stretch for some of those macho guys out there, but honestly, the brownie points you score will definitely prove to be beneficial in the end.
And as for the girls, chill out sometimes. It’s so easy to over analyze things and decide that when he said he thought Pam Anderson was hot, and the girl he was talking to the other night looked like her means that he must be cheating on you with her.
Relax, take a breath, and realize that fighting is just not worth it here.
Girls can be wrong too sometimes and we both need to put our pride on the shelves and admit it from time to time. It’s easy to point the finger when you’re mad, but in the end wouldn’t you rather say you’re sorry and fall asleep in the arms that hold so much comfort, then let a relationship sizzle and fall asleep alone?

Emily Rose- a big bust

The Exorcist was always a freaky movie- mainly because a little girl is cursing and masturbating with a cross while her head spins around and supposedly it's based on a true story. I don't know about anyone else, but the "true story" theory in itself freaks me out since I don't ever want that stuff happening to me.
That's why a few of us decided to check out the new Exorcist movie about this Emily Rose chick. We thought, "Wow, a new age Exorcist like movie that's also based on a true story, it's got to be so scary."
Well those commericals are a big crock. They make it out to look like the movie will entirely be about a possession and what happens to this poor girl, when in actuality it's about the trial... yes, I said trial, and if you're like me, you're reading this and asking yourself, "What trial?"
Apparently, the priest that performed the exorcism was arrested and tried for homicide, saying that if he didn't convince Emily to stop taking her medication and stopped convincing her that she was possessed she would still be alive. The movie was about two hours of a case study, leaving it to the audience to decide whether they believed in a supreme being, or if they believed in medical science.
I was severely disappointed. I was so ready to sit there for two hours max and scream with all the little ten year olds that snuck into the theater and just have a fun filled fright fest. Instead I sat there figeting because i was bored out of my mind when emily's possessed face wasn't on the screen screaming about Lucifer and eating bugs.
At least I know that Halloween's coming up, which hopefully will bring with it a few titilating movies that won't fail to scare the living crap out of me.

Song of the moment...

This may be a shameless plug... but I've definitely become a closet Ryan Cabrera fan. I absolutely love his song "True" and now that his new album is out I have to let you all read his new lyrics...

"Shine on"...
Given every moment I had
Still I can never seem to keep up with you
You're done with one mile and onto another one thousand
Still I can never seem to keep up with you

I know you'll be better off without me when im gone
You know you're, you're beautiful
You're beautiful

Shine on
You were made to Shine on
And you know I love you
And even if we can or can't be friends
I'll be with you until the very end
So shine on, you want me to

It's keeping me awake every night
But I can never seem to give up on you
I send up a prayer and I'm onto another one thousand
I can never seem to give up on you

I know you'll be better off without me when I'm gone
You know you're, you're beautiful
You're beautiful Shine on

You were made to Shine on
And you know I love you
And even if we can or can't be friends
I'll be with you until the very end
So shine on, yeah

Nobody's wrong, nobody's right
Keep moving on..

Creating a website

In class we have to create a website for our final project. The more I think about it, I have mixed feelings. I think it's really exciting to create a web page that people can view at any time; it gives me a sense of accomplishment. The catch is, however, I hate Mac computers and I know it's going to drive me insane since if it was on a dell, I could probably finish it in two seconds.
Who knew being able to right click would make or break your sanity.
Anyway, I've decided that instead of doing it on some "fictional" person I don't even know and making another shrine to them, or doing it on my friends and family and embarrassing us both by putting up pictures that are more than likely completely inappropriate for school, I've decided to help out some friends and kill two birds with one stone, sort of speak.
My friends are in Omega Delta Phi and lost the password to their website. They haven't been able to update it for two or three years and now it's even off the Cortland website so that they're not getting any publicity whatsoever. Since I consider these guys my brothers, and come of my closest friends on campus, I'm just going to put together a webpage for them. I hope to include a calendar of their planned community service activities, their full roster, alumni stats, founders, a photo gallery *to show what "model" students they are* and links to their ODP brothers in other states.
Hopefully, it'll all work out and the "Knights" can use my webpage to promote themselves back on the Cortland webpage- check it out... http://web.cortland.edu/Aglial29/omega.index.htm

Trust I Seek

Trust, by Webster definition, is the reliance on the integrity, veracity, etc., of a person; confidence. Trust, by any normal person, would be described as something that one person finds in another who is holding their heart. It seems to be something so easily obtained, but just as easily lost and ruined.
When dealing with trust you have to tread lightly. In any relationship, trust is a certain blind faith you put into your partner. It’s a comfort zone you put yourself in. It’s those hours you spend talking while holding each other, a kiss on the forehead, and flowers for no reason.
It’s giving that person the benefit of the doubt to “go out with the boys.”
Plain and simple- it’s trust.
There is a theory to protect yourself with and trust someone at the same time. At www.askmen.com, Mr. Mafioso, the street life correspondent, states his “full-proof” theory he calls the “Zero-Trust” system.
It’s pretty simple and easy to understand. “Everyone you meet gets zero trust,” he explains.
He continues by stating that, “Someone you just met has no reason, good or bad, to give a damn about you.” When you first enter a relationship, your partner is hopefully telling you the details of his past, which, based on this theory, only gives you about a 10 percent reason to trust him.
“Trust is not built over time alone, but because of actions and situations, which test the trust over a period of time, a pattern of behavior is established,” he said.
It’s really not that hard to take five minutes out of your day to call and say hello. With all the new technology today, you don’t even have to call; you can send a text or picture message just to say “hey, I’m thinking of you, see you soon,” or even a cute e-mail to just make your presence known. “Time alone isn’t important, actions are,” Mafioso says in agreement to what most women believe.
Trust seems to be the defining factor in any relationship because it is something that is so easily broken. A blatant lie can destroy it.
Lies, cheating- it’s all the same. It’s painful, it’s disappointing, but more importantly, it’s heartbreaking. Someone you confided your secrets, your problems, someone that had become one of the most important, vital persons in your life has just played a round of hackey sack with your heart and emotions and kick it against a wall.
The tears haven’t even been able to completely form before you start dry heaving because you believed things were “perfect.”
Nothing constitutes as an excuse. He can try and justify the lie, or defend his reason for cheating but nothing can really change what he did. Maybe he’s “just not that into you,” as the popular relationship novel clearly defines.
But, unfortunately, your head cannot tell your heart to immediately heal itself.
Your heart wants those familiar hands rubbing your shoulders and stroking your hair. Your heart still knows it needs that phone call after a long day to hear those three words that always make everything right and that smile that made everyone else in the world disappear.
The question becomes, with trust shattered into fragments around your feet, can you ever forgive and forget?
The answer is a yes-no. Yes, you may be able to let love conquer all and accept his apologies, but no, you will never be able to forget. That’s the problem with broke trust- it doesn’t allow for forgetfulness. So, are you willing to believe in second chances and let him try and regain his foothold?
Only if he’s willing to work, and prove, himself.
Sure, flowers and candy, or even a romantic notion is a start but that’s not what needs to be done. When trust is broken specific actions need to be taken to gain it back.
This first step is to realize that if you’re the one that messed up, boundaries are going to be set until you’re back in the “circle of trust.” He needs to prove that you’re important to him. “I’m sorry” are just a bunch of words and at this point, an “I love you” will probably seem fake as well. If you’re important to him- prove it. Give up a “boy’s night,” or, better yet, bring the girlfriend out with you to shower her what you’re doing when you go out. Anything that’s important to her has not become twice as important to you because her feelings should be a number one priority.
Secondly, take yourself out of compromising situations. If you find his smiling face sandwiched between the lips of two suspicious looking girls on someone’s Webshots page, he better have called you and told you he was there with them and come home straight afterwards to your bed, or his own in which he better have called you again to tell you he just got in.
Thirdly, guys have a certain reputation of getting on the defense even when they’re the ones that did the dirty deed. If you want her to forgive you, you have to prove that you trust her and know that she would never do something as undermining as you just did. If you try and turn the tables and make her stay in one night just because she asked you to, the two of you are just going to be spending every weekend arguing and flailing in “no-trust” vibes.
Lastly, if you’re giving him that second chance, make sure you give him that second chance. To choose to forgive someone, you have to genuinely try and completely forgive him. Of course there will always be the haunting remnants of the actions in the back of your head, but if you throw it in his face every time you fight there will be no room to move forward. Instead, you will more than likely be moving on alone.Maybe trust isn’t completely dead when a catastrophe happens. Maybe it’s just damaged, in a coma for a little while, but ready to wake up when it’s finally healed.

A weekend get away

Things haven't been the greatest since school starts. The stress, the gossip, the school work...the gossip. It's very trying on my nerves as well as my relationship. This weekend, however, seemed to be the perfect remedy. Maybe romance isn't completely dead, because my boyfriend did mange to prove to me that he does listen on occasion and surprised me with Dane Cook tickets for my birthday *for those of you who don't know, Dane Cook is the funniest comedian I have ever seen*.
He even got us a hotel for the night so we could spend the entire night in the city- and what a romantic place. It all reminded me of Just Married, when they finally got to Italy and stood in a room with cockroaches and a sheet for a wall. Our hotel was a little nicer than that, but I was a little questionable when I walked in and saw the bathroom sink was actually outside of the bathroom.
Not to sound mushy though, but I was happy just because we were there together. And Dane Cook helped bring a new level to the relationship as well- a couple that laughs together has to have something in common.
Just walking around a city full of people, with lights that made it seem like day time, and a million and one places to go, it was funny how all I wanted to do was walk around for a little while and then just go back "home."
Relationships are funny like that- no matter what the situation may be, as long as one thing goes right and you have each other to cuddle up with at night, it always seems like a brighter future is right around the corner.